Super Mario to Jobs: It's war!

05/08/10 12:12

On the heels of its first profit drop since 2004, Nintendo is apparently preparing for an all-out war with a new arch-enemy. Electronista reports that company president Satoru Iwata plans to shift Nintendo’s laserlike focus on sticking it up the Sony Playstation’s caboose and instead target Apple, whose explosive growth in the gaming biz seems likely to continue with the larger canvas of the iPad now available. A source says the House That Mario Built now views Cupertino as the “arch enemy of the future” and presumably the nexus of evil on our planet.

Macinquirer’s sources in Asia say Nintendo has recently cornered the market on fire-breathing turtles and polka-dotted mushrooms in anticipation of the coming battle, and has instructed all employees to bash their skulls repeatedly into the cubes that hover over their workspaces, in order to generate as many gold coins as possible to finance the campaign. (Which, if money is the objective, makes you wonder why they don’t just have everybody on staff do the skull-bash thing every day, all day long, y’know?)

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